Makes me quietly laugh at myself because here I am in Ubud where healing and spiritual practice are everywhere. Transformation is a daily part of life. And here I am admitting the fear I have around really finding and committing to some spiritual practice that I'm not even sure of yet. Some spiritual practice that may find me instead of me having to do so much to uncover it. That was more my experience with my Judaism. I am Jewish. It's just a resonance I've always felt and a community that I've always been comfortable in. But even those foundations that are so strong need to be put aside for awhile so other parts can grow, flourish and maybe even compliment it. That's somewhat of how I feel. I think. Maybe.
I keep myself busy with socializing, meeting people, going to healers, talking about and doing yoga and thinking about meditation. I realize lately I think about meditation slightly more than I do it. I know this because I keep a little journal of insights and feelings I write down after I meditate, so the dates are there and I see how often I'm sitting, which wasn't the point when I started. It's just an after effect that now starts to nag at me sometimes.
Maybe this practice I feel I'm going to engage in will simply find me. Maybe it will simply unfold within me and for now I can just hop on someone's motorbike and go to dinner, jump in a car and head to Seminyak, take cooking lessons, host dinner parties and believe and trust my spiritual practice will show up one night at dinner.
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| Writing Circle @ Cafe Wayan |
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| Behind my Bed |
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| Tea at Sunset |
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| Rice Fields at Sunset |
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| Kunigan Services |
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| Wayan's Offering Basket |
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| Lotus with Bee |
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| Ayu |
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| Kunigan Services |
you know... I"m thinking about meditating more often than doing it right now as well. This motivated me to go for a sit. Thank you!! I had every intention of meditating every day during the last month of my pregnancy... and somehow I've not kept it up. Perhaps the last 10 days!!
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