Slowing Down

I keep thinking about what I wrote about being so drained by work that isn't your purpose or passion. I realized yesterday while I was listening to someone I know who is creating a life around work they love that they get just as drained and run down as the rest of us. It's really about balance. At least for me, I keep being reminded of that by listening to people, paying attention to what I'm thinking and doing while hearing myself rant about all the self doubt I have around the smallest most insignificant things.

Yesterday, while I was walking down the street before going for a massage I caught myself in this habitual thought about being really angry with a friend who hasn't made time for me in months. I suddenly stopped myself and mid-silent-rant and said to myself, " this is not a thought I want to perpetuate and create something in my life. I don't need to be thinking like this." Then I was a little shocked when I realized, I have just quit my job, I have enough in my life that I can take the rest of the year off and travel, I know I can make it all work and I am walking around thinking about being angry at a friend who doesn't give me enough of her time? Come on now Jen, really.... how about walking around thinking about how truly lucky you are to be able to have this time to shift perspective and realign yourself. Much better thought. Besides, she will have her own point of view of this "friendship situation" and I haven't had much energy to give to anyone in the last year. It's been at least a year, some might see it as longer. Plus, I'm on my way to get a massage around lunch time on a Thursday. How fantastic is that?

It's a natural human phenomenon, we all have a favorite theme in life that we habitually go to when we're feeling tired, stressed out and overwhelmed.We don't even really realize how often we have those thoughts during the day. Usually because we're so tired and stressed out. So as I slow down and really start to feel the exhaustion in my body, I'm really getting to know the favorite thoughts my mind likes to attach to when I'm totally out of balance. It's amazing how lucky I am and how tired and bitchy I can feel... all at once.