Maybe it's time to let go and just finally stop comparing myself to others, worrying about where I am in life, fearing what's ahead and what I've done wrong in the past and just allow myself to be. Not even be happy necessarily, and not worry about being sad or alone, or stressed out, or overextended, or under extended, just allowing myself to just be and feel what that's like. It's almost as if there are so many layers we create in our lives that help protect us, help us succeed, help us shine, help us look good and most of all comfort us so we feel loved and accepted. But what if I stopped worrying about being loved and accepted? What if I truly allowed myself to stop comparing myself to others, to not worry about being loved and accepted and tried to let go in a way that felt opening, receptive, maybe even vulnerable. I couldn't imagine being vulnerable in any situation with any person unless I truly knew I trusted them, or had someone close by that I trusted so I could talk things through if I felt betrayed. That is such a long, hard, deep layer of my personality and my character that it almost feels like concrete. When I tune into that part of myself feels like slick smooth stone that has been beautifully crafted to protect my heart, it even has thin ridges and inlays all around it to make it look more beautiful. But what if I were to crack it, what if it became an intention to allow it to crack up and open and let some light in. That smooth, thick, grey stone that protects my heart might shatter into a thousand pieces. Somehow I don't feel or see that. Instead I see an opening, kind of like a split in the stone that allows light to come in and light to go shine out. In the process there may be some plants that begin to grow around the opening that cover the stone and eventually allow it to open more.
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